


Through Seasons

by hamgyuzizi



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Marriage Proposal, With a little bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 16:37:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17369525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamgyuzizi/pseuds/hamgyuzizi
Summary: Dear Jinwoo,It's been 2 years since. It's been 2 years since the winter we wished for never came. And I admit, it stills hurts Jinwoo. It never did not hurt, it’s always been hurting, throughout any season, regardless of time that passed. But maybe, this winter, it hurts the most.





	Through Seasons

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone~~ this is a story by [@_skyrs](https://twitter.com/_skyrs) in twitter. Sadly, I don't have an AO3 account and i have used Chae's account to publish this story as promised. I hope y'all will enjoy reading this, and I'm sorry to all Rockynators. I love y'all ㅠㅠ

 

** Summer That You Love  **

The fits of laughter that filled their shared apartment felt like a dream to Minhyuk. Finally he was living with his boyfriend and they were having a housewarming party along with their closest friends.

“How about we have pool party next week? It's summer isn’t it?” Sanha exclaimed with a squeal, feeling the excitement just by thinking of it.

The others seemed to be excited too and by the way Dongmin was staring at the taller guy, it was obvious that he was excited too by his boyfriend’s idea. Minhyuk was startled a little when he felt a warm hand rubbing his back, he glanced to his side, meeting the loving gaze of his boyfriend.

“What do you think Hyuk?” He asked with a smile plastered on his face. Minhyuk was sure he could melt under his stare millions of times and he would never complain about it. He answered the question with a light nod and gave a gentle squeeze to his boyfriend’s arm that was resting on his thigh. His boyfriend’s gaze averted to their group of friends and cheers once again filled the living room as the night faded away.

 

_Dear Jinwoo,_

_Summer’s here, it's your favourite season isn’t it? The other day, I visited the place where we first met. Do you remember it? Ahh it's been almost 8 years right? It feels just like yesterday when you offered me the cold beer. They told me that there will be another festival coming soon, I wonder if I should go? Do you think I should go? Sanha and Dongmin will probably go because they say Bin is planning to propose to Myungjun. Yeah, our friends are getting married. Bin and Myungjun, the couple who always bicker with each other are finally getting married and Dongmin also is asking for my help to propose to Sanha. Sanha has been working for almost a year and they already moved in together now, Dongmin is thinking they should take it to another step. Don’t we all think the same? I know you agree with that too. It's another summer, it's another season missing you. How we wish you were here, how I wish you were here. Until then, I miss you._

_Even if it can’t be seen,_

_Even if it can’t be felt,_

_It's alright._

_Because its my child,_

_Because it's my heart._

_Love,_

_Your Minhyuk._

Minhyuk smiled as he reminisced on how he first met his boyfriend. It was a humid summer and Sanha had dragged him out of their dorm to go at a summer festival claiming they were going to have so much fun. He couldn't say he didn't have fun, he came to know what fun was after meeting a short blonde guy who accidentally bumped into him and repeated sorry almost thousand of times until Hyuk decided to hold his arm to assure him he was okay.

Minhyuk felt astounded and thought how can a human’s smile be so bright? More than that, how could his heart beat so fast while hearing the shorter’s giggles as he handed him a cold beer?

The day passed as they got closer and played along together, he really did have the time of his life. Minhyuk had always been a quiet and awkward guy and he had a very little circle of friends but this guy he had recently met, seemed like he fit in just right, not only with his friends, but also in his heart.

On another day of another summer, the short blonde, who had now had changed his hair colour to brunette, named Park Jinwoo decided on securing his place in Minhyuk’s heart with a ring during a dinner date. He asked the long awaited question of whether or not to be his partner. Minhyuk simply answered with a shy nod and Jinwoo excitedly put the ring on his finger when the fireworks play started.

 

** Autumn of The New Life **

_Dear Jinwoo,_

_The colours are very pretty aren't they? I was walking on my way back home today and the colour of autumn really does reminds me of you. We used to wonder why some people hated it, I guess they maybe think that in autumn life is ceased out of everything and it's sad. But you said another life ended for another life to start, I think you’re right. I wonder how are you doing? Happy? I hope you are because I am very happy now. I need to go now, until then, I miss you._

_I'm finding a lot of colours,_

_I have many colours,_

_In the end,_

_I'm nothing without you._

_Love,_

_Your Minhyuk._

“Babe, look! It's pretty isn’t it?” Jinwoo showed the picture he had just took with his camera. Minhyuk had always been a fan of Jinwoo’s photography and luckily for him, ever since they started their relationship, he had been Jinwoo’s favourite subject in his every clicks, candid or not.

 

“Everything becomes so pretty with your photography skills baby.” Minhyuk complimented him making Jinwoo giggle and shake his head lightly. Soon, another scene caught Jinwoo’s attention and he immediately began taking pictures once more.

 

“You know, I believe photography is never about skill, it's about story. The story is what matters,” Jinwoo turned to face Minhyuk and aimed the lense to take his picture.

 

“Like the story about how I’m going to propose to my future husband right now,”

 

Minhyuk thought he had misheard Jinwoo but quickly his boyfriend took the picture of his surprised expression and pulled a ring from his same right pocket as the summer where he proposed to Minhyuk to be his boyfriend.

 

“I know you will answer yes but it’s always been your dream to get a romantic proposal in autumn. Will you, Park Minhyuk, marry me?”

 

Minhyuk couldn't control himself and excitedly jumped to hug Jinwoo answering with a quick nod and a quick peck on Jinwoo’s lips. A very detailed conversation on how their wedding would warm up the city with the lights and love when the winter came was the topic of their conversation on their way home.

 

“I’ve never been so excited for winter than I am now!” Minhyuk squealed in happiness as Jinwoo pulled him close for a tight hug when they arrived home and settled for another autumn night together.

 

“So am I babe.” Jinwoo mumbled as he embraced the love of his life into a deep slumber.

** The Winter That Never Came **

 

 

_Dear Jinwoo,_

_The winter came again, and it’s still is as white as I last saw and as cold as I last remember. They say it may get colder this year, but that winter is still the coldest for me. It's been 2 years since. It's been 2 years since the winter we wished for never came. And I admit, it stills hurts Jinwoo. It never did not hurt, it’s always been hurting, throughout any season, regardless of time that passed. But maybe, this winter, it hurts the most._

_When I pass by places I used to go with you_

_I just stand there, quietly_

_When memories of you pass like a film_

_I miss you even more, sadly_

_Love,_

_Your Minhyuk._

 

 

Jinwoo’s phone rang on his table and he frowned hearing it but still answered it with a heavy sigh.

 

“I’ll be home tonight. Don’t worry. We will talk.”

 

Minhyuk decided to face it all at once, it wasn't supposed to be this way when their wedding date was approaching nearby. It had been two weeks since Jinwoo could barely be seen at home, Minhyuk had been busy with their wedding preparation and it irked him that Jinwoo always stayed at his company instead of helping him.

 

                Jinwoo would sneak in home at an ungodly hour wanting to go straight to bed but not before finding Minhyuk asleep on the couch, probably waiting for him. After kissing his forehead goodnight and carrying him to their room he would go to sleep. However the next morning he would wake up and rush to work, not even sparing any glance at the breakfast Hyuk prepared.

 

Minhyuk had been stressed and exhausted over the wedding preparation and to top off everything, he felt like it was only him who was excited about getting married. The less they talked, the louder the assumptions in his head spoke.

 

Hyuk decided to postpone their wedding which shocked Jinwoo. They had a heated argument about it one winter night but Jinwoo knew nothing could be talked out in anger. He decided to leave home that night to clear his mind and give Minhyuk space.

 

He never came home again.

 

** Lonely Spring  **

****

****

_Dear Jinwoo,_

_I was to caught up with work I didn’t realize it's already spring until I saw the flowers bloom. Now that I realised it, I suddenly feel lonely. Tomorrow is the day. I'm going to visit you, the guys also decided to tag along. I hope you’ll be happy to see them. I will make sure Myungjun won’t be so loud ^^ ah, Binnie will control him so we don’t have to worry about it. Sanha has been fussing about tomorrow to Dongmin, we don’t know what the issue though. He’s just being himself, you know that kid don’t you? Me? I'm excited and a little nervous. You knew that I always got nervous everytime we  would go out on dates, you used to make fun of me sweating a lot didn’t you? Ahh I miss the old times. Anyway, looking forward on meeting you tomorrow babe. I love you. Always._

_Honestly, I was pretending to be okay_

_But I’ll try a little harder_

_I’m walking alone on the street we walked on together_

_Is that how much I’ve grown?_

_Love,_

_Your Minhyuk._

Minhyuk had woken up a little early, the smell of coffee filled his kitchen and slices of toasted bread were stacked neatly on a plate. It was Jinwoo’s favourite breakfast. Truthfully, Hyuk didn’t know if it was his actual favourite, he never told him.

 

Jinwoo rarely spoke about himself in depth and Minhyuk was never the type to ask. They were together for a good 4 years together before Jinwoo left but Minhyuk came to realize that he knew very little of Jinwoo’s personal life before meeting him while Jinwoo knew him like the back of his palm. Jinwoo would make jokes, tell funny stories about his friends, comfort him and listen to him but never really talked about himself, what he liked, what he didn’t like, he never told Minhyuk at least.

 

Minhyuk had known that Jinwoo tended to keep things to himself so that night when Jinwoo said he wanted to talk it out, Hyuk thought he would at least let him know what was going on in his mind. Rather than that however, Minhyuk was too stressed and ranted his heart out not letting Jinwoo speak even a single word.

 

He still remembered how Jinwoo came home that night, his tie undone, his hair was messy, probably from running his fingers through them so many times from stress. He came home a little earlier, sometime past 11PM. Arriving home and seeing Minhyuk, his frown faded a little and a weak smile appeared on his face. Walking closer to Hyuk, he gave him light kiss on his cheek, Minhyuk feeling a slight tingle as his own warm skin made contact with Jinwoo’s skin that had been exposed to the outdoor winter cold.

 

They both took a seat on the couch and Jinwoo rested his head on Hyuk’s shoulder. He was about to say something before Hyuk started to talk. Jinwoo had stayed quiet all throughout Minhyuk’s ranting, he had shifted seat a few times but still quietly listening to Hyuk. All the assumptions, all the accusations, he didn’t said anything about it. It was quiet for awhile before Jinwoo tried to speak his stand but anger and frustration got the best of Minhyuk, he couldn’t seem to understand or tolerate anything that Jinwoo was saying. Jinwoo was trying hard to keep his calm when Minhyuk kept arguing about everything he said until he almost lost his patience. The last straw was Minhyuk postponing the wedding. He raised his voice to Hyuk and that ended it all. Minhyuk’s tears finally fell and Jinwoo couldn’t stand to watch the pain in his fiance's eyes.

 

“I think I shouldn’t be here right now, let's take our time for ourselves for awhile. I’ll see you again.. tomorrow.” Jinwoo took a quite long pause before he finished his sentence.

 

Minhyuk had cried his heart out thinking of what Jinwoo said. Quietly he begged in his heart that Jinwoo would have embraced him instead of leaving, constantly saying sorry in his head but his ego had frozen his tongue and with those miserable thoughts and self blame, he realized Jinwoo had already left.

 

The last thing he heard from Jinwoo was a goodbye and a promise to come back home, which was never fulfilled.

 

 

Minhyuk woke up when he heard his door being knocked way too loud, as if someone wanted to break it down. With a heavy headache and sleepy grunt he opened his front door only to be greeted by a panicked Bin.

 

“Oh my God, we couldn’t get a hold of you! Jinwoo is in the hospital!”

 

 

“You promised me to meet me again ‘tomorrow’, it's been 20 days since you made that promise, won't you wake up already?” Minhyuk quietly said as he caressed Jinwoo’s hand, sitting next to his hospital bed where he hadn’t moved from since.

 

“I miss you…” he sighed.

 

Minhyuk took the wet towel and gently started cleaning Jinwoo’s exposed skin. It wasn’t too long before he noticed Jinwoo’s fingers moving. Mixed with panic and excitement, he called in the nurses and doctor in charge and told them Jinwoo had moved for the first time since his accident. The nurse politely asked him to wait outside while they checked on Jinwoo. Before going out he glanced out the window and noticed the flowers had bloomed. The spring had come to life and maybe so did his love.

 

A knock on his door returned him from his trail of memories to reality. Opening the door he was met by a tall raven haired man.

 

“Are you ready?” Dongmin stood in front of him. Minhyuk usually went alone but today, his friends decided to accompany him..

 

  _It was Jinwoo’s memorial day._

_Dear Jinwoo,_

_It's been 2 years since you left. I attended your memorial day in the black suit that I was supposed to wear for our wedding. You can see me right? You know how I love to hear your compliments right? Ah I wish I could hear it from you now. Sanha was crying, I know you know how ugly crying Sanha is haha. If you were there, I know you would hug him and then tease him afterwards. The boys miss you so much babe. Last year we attended your memorial separately because I didn’t want them to see me bawling my eyes out. I wanted to stay longer with you but today I decided that you should meet us all at the same time. Is it fun in heaven? You should visit us down here sometime, maybe in our dreams? ^^ Remember when you joked about sneaking out of heaven to watch over me and meet me in my dreams? Tsk, such a liar, you never appear. I bet you’re having so much fun playing with all the beautiful angels up there aren’t you? Hehehe. I don’t mind. You’re placed rightfully where you belong my love. I know you are. Where else a beautiful and kind soul like you would go?_

 

_Though it hurt, the reason I could endure_

_It’s you_

_Again today, because of you_

_I cried and hurt_

_But even when I’m sad, the reason I can smile_

_Is that I’ve grown that much_

_Don’t forget_

_That I liked you a lot_

_Love,_

_Your Minhyuk._

****

 

** The Last Letter **

 

_Hi babe. You know how I’m very busy with work right now but I promise I’ll make time for you and for our wedding preparations very soon. I can’t wait to see you in the altar and call you my husband. I’m sorry I raised my voice to you, I shouldn’t have. I should have been more understanding about how stressful the wedding preparations have been for you. Let’s not fight again okay? I can’t stand seeing you cry. Ah yeah, I wanted to tell you if I ever get too busy again and don’t have time for you, write me letters, pour everything out. I realised that we have our arguments because of our lack of communication. I’d recommend texting but letters are more romantic aren’t they? Hehehe. I’ll meet you again after work. I’ll try to be home early. I love you._

_Yours,_

_Jinwoo._

 

Minhyuk gently folded the piece of paper as the tears rolled down his cheeks. Keeping it inside his book, Minhyuk opened to another empty page. With a weak smile he wrote:

 

" I should’ve held on, should’ve held onto you

I’ll understand even your greed, come back

I wasn’t good enough to handle you

So now I finally realize why you left"

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [@angytienda1](https://twitter.com/angytienda1) on twitter who helped me edit this story. Also super big thanks to hamgyuzizi for letting me use her account! I love her so much!! Thank you for reading guys~ 
> 
> -Sky
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. Hello this is hamgyuzizi~ please go read Sky and Angy's collab vampire fanfic [Humanity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16363826/chapters/38293760) posted on [Virgo8300](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Virgo8300/pseuds/Virgo8300) account. Thank you so much.  
> Please follow this amazing girl on her twitter account [@_skyrs](https://twitter.com/_skyrs) she's one of the best Jinwoo stan i met on twitter! and please follow me too! ^^ [@chaeungyu_](https://twitter.com/chaeungyu_). yaaay! thank you everyone. xoxo


End file.
